You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.

You know the real names of all of the places in the American Pie movies.

The Big Mac is something that you drive across.

You bake with soda and drink pop.

You know that the four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right.

Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.

You can point out where Jerry Ford lived.

You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.

You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".

The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

One (or both) or your parents learned to swim (and ice skate) at Roses.

You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.

Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the opening of deer season.

Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines.

At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.

You know what a millage is.

Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.

You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your hand.

Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done

Half the people you know say they are from Grand Rapids... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Grand Rapids

"Up North" means north of Clare.

You occasionally cheer "Go Lions- and take the Tigers with you."

Snow tires come standard on all your cars.

At least 25% of your relatives work for the furniture industry.

You know more about chill factors and lake effect than you'd EVER like to know!

Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.

The snowmen you make in your front yard actually freeze. Solid.

The snow freezes so hard that you can actually walk across it and not break it or leave any marks.

All your shoes are called "tennis shoes", even though no one here plays tennis anymore.

Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard.

Most of the people you know either begin or end the spelling of their last names with the letters V. A. N.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from West Michigan.